My Dad causally suggested I look at bariatric surgery to help with my weight. Initially I was deeply offended, I did not need surgery to overcome my weight!

On my way home I cried as I was so sad that someone so close would think that it was necessary for me to resort to surgery to help battle the buldge.

I did a lot of soul searching the next few days and started to consider his offer.

I am 27, a size 26 and weigh nearly 20 stone and need to lose 50% of my weight to be at the high end of normal.

As a kid I was always on the go, swimming, hockey, horseriding. As I got older these activities were dropped and my new interest of boys and booze took place, the weight started to creep on. Its not difficult to see my pit falls less exercise and a dramatic rise in calorie intake through booze and junk food. This paired with my parents’ divorce which led to some serious comfort eating they fat piled on. With hindsight it’s so easy to see where I went wrong.

However I am, where I am, I have tried various diets, slimming world, Rosmary Connoley etc with some success however my will power eventually gives in.  Food is an addiction and I couldn’t kick it the same way I had smoking. You can’t cut food out of your life the way you can cigarettes, it’s a necessity for survival just not in my quantities!

My other issue was denial, when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see what everyone else saw. Your mind is very good a playing tricks on you. When I saw a top in the shop they way it looked on me in my mind and they way it actually looked were two very different things. I always imagined my inner skinny self not the reality of my morbidly obese self. The mirrors played these tricks too. When pictures would be put on facebook, I would start frantically untagging myself disgusted at the image I saw. I would put it down to a bad photo, the problem was I was yet to find a good one!

So I looked at the truth of the situation, I want to lose weight I know I can succeed short term on diets but realistically these are always short term and I need a long term solution.

I decided to start doing some research, I read Lap Band Solution and Weight loss surgery for Dummies, both great guides to what to expect and the options available.

I decided to speak to a professional to gain more insight. I couldn’t approach my GP having been to see several over the years to try and help lose weight I was always given the same solution, join a diet club, meet with a dietican. Having been down that path before I knew the successes would be short lived.

So after some internet research and watching some very squeamish clips on YouTtube I decided to go to the  Hospital Group.  I called to make my initial consultation; the earliest appointment was 2 weeks away. During those 2 weeks, having received further literature I talked myself in and out of going to meet the surgeon.  On the day I was still unsure if I was going to go. (I now understand why they charge a moderate fee as if £50 wasn’t a stake I may have backed out). My reason on the day for not going; I had read that I would be no longer able to drink diet coke! For all the excuses I came up with I knew they were not as important as my long term health and this after all was only a consultation.

So I arrived at their consultation clinic in Cardiff with an open mind and a racing heart. When I sat down I looked around the room there were several people waiting to meet with the surgeon of varying levels of ‘obesity’. I was so concerned I would be judged as I normally am by my size not me, I could not have been more wrong.  A very kind nurse took my height and weight to my delight I was actually ½ inch taller, funny the things that cheer us up.

When I went into see the surgeon, he was open to any question being asked and of course the first thing I asked, ‘Can I really not have diet coke?’ to my relief the answer was that I could, as long as I stirred it first to reduce the gas I would be fine. As we talked through all my small anxieties that I have thought about as a barrier to weight loss I felt much better.

In the same visit I had an appointment with a personal consultant who will be with me every step of the way.  Sarah was fantastic, so helpful and all my fears were gone.  I want to lose weight but not at the cost of my life. I was so concerned I would never be able to eat out again, have chocolate, or a few too many glasses of wine.  Sarah explained that obviously doing any of the above would have an impact on the amount of weight I lost but in theory yes I could. She explained that everyone is different and while some people have no problem with any food type other suffer with lots of different food types and I would learn what I could tolerate. She also explained that I would learn to chew my food.  At the time I thought this was a strange remark everyone chews their food.

I went home that evening feeling much better but not committed to anything as I still wanted to think. Having made rash decisions all my life including booking a flight to the other side of the world and going travelling on a whim, I want to make sure this life changing decision was made with the thought and time needed. That night when I was having tea (a super size bowl of pasta with extra cheese) I realised how little I chewed my food and how I wolfed it down not paying any attention to flavour or taste, I was in a race to get to that feeling of fullness and satisfaction ( I may have previously mentioned I have a bad case of emotional eating). Something had to change.

I phoned my dad to speak through with him and agreed that having a band fitted could, would be the best thing I had ever done. I called up and booked the appointment, because of work commitments I couldn’t have it till August nearly 2 months away.

The wait has been agony, once I make a decision I just want to do it. I have very little patience. However I found the positive, I could eat everything I want to eat before my op. I have learnt this has been labelled ‘the last super syndrome’ mine has lasted 2 months and I have put on a stone in weight eekk.

So 3 weeks to surgery and a last supper stone to lose I need to start my diet early! I have found www.ukgastricband.co.uk invaluable. Real people who have been and are going through exactly the same thing as you, sharing their best practices and experiences, what a life line! With a positive mental attitude I have attacked the next sale buying a few work items in sizes 24, 22, 20 in preparation for my post op weight loss.

I will be in touch just before I go under the knife to see if I have managed to shed that extra stone...