So........your journey has started.
First....go and buy the hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy.......not just because it is an excellent book, but because it has DON'T PANIC printed in large, comforting letters on the front. Make that your mantra over the course of this journey.
You've seen your GP, who has referred you and now the wait begins. If you are going private, it will be a short journey. If you are NHS, dig yourself in and prepare for a long wait.
It can be frustratingly slow and seems at times that nothing is happening. Don't worry......it is. Most people seem to take 10 or 12 months from GP to operation. Some more, some less. There's nothing much you can do about it, so try not to let it bother you. Easy for me to say, but the more you think about it, the more you will stress out about it.
Take this waiting period to do as much research as you can. Google your surgeon to see if they are good. Ask on here if anyone else has been done by them. Read the post op posts on this site and get an idea of diet and recovery times post op. If there is a local support group, join it. There is nothing better than talking to other people that have gone through it all already. Ask questions on here. If we can help, we will.
AVOID AT ALL COSTS looking on google and youtube for stories of operations that have gone wrong. They are very rare, most operations are successful, but don't make for good headlines. All you will do is worry yourself unnecessarily. Of the operations that do go wrong, many of them are because the person has other health problems.
Some people don't tell anyone they are having the op, others, like me, tell anyone that stays still for more than a second. It is a personal choice. It is harder to cover it up with a bypass than with a band as the weightloss is so rapid and your eating habits change so much. It is also very helpful having someone to go through it with you and be able to talk with them about it.
If you do tell people, you will get many different reactions.
Some will be happy for you that you are taking control of your life and getting healthier, some won't care either way, some will be frightened for you (mainly because they know nothing about the operation, or have read the scare stories) some will be jealous as they aren't brave enough to do it, some will be annoyed as they are big, but not as big as you.....if you get slimmer than them, they become the largest person in the group and get the attention you've been taking (I may be fat, but not as fat as them) some will be scared their relationship with you will change, some will say you are taking money from the NHS that could be used for 'important' operations like heart surgery. They don't realise that by having the bypass you are saving the NHS a lot of money on not having to treat weight related problems later, like diabetes or your own heart problems.
My own opinion is if people care about you, they will want what's best for you.....if they don't.....**** 'EM, they're not worth knowing anyway.
You've had a long, hard road to come to this decision, bullying, depression, hurtful comments and all the rest, each story is different, but remarkably similar. Don't let anyone change your mind now. Your own fears and a couple of people telling you not to have it done can cause a lot of doubt. Be strong. Your quality of life will improve a hell of a lot after the op, and you will live at least 10 years longer. If you have kids, they will enjoy you more and you them, and some people can't have kids until they lose some of the weight.
The closer you get to your op, the more you will start to worry. This is totally natural. We ALL did it. Will I be able to do it, will it work, will I ever be able to eat properly again, will it get cancelled, will there be problems, what if, what if, what if. Most of these fears are ungrounded. You are frightened and automatically look for reasons not to put yourself through it. You may never have had an operation before, or been in hospital.
In my experience doctors and nurses take an enormous pride in their work (rightly so too), they want what's best for you, it's not just a job to them. Trust them. They are professionals and know what they are doing. Your surgeon will have done many, many of these operations before. Mine has done over 1000 and teaches other people how to do them.
We have a nurse on the site.....I'm sure she will tell you that you will be looked after incredibly well.
During the operation, there will be a whole team of people concentrating completely on you, making sure you are safe.
You may have to see a psychiatrist or psychologist before the op. There is nothing to worry about. They are not trying to trick you or catch you out. They want to know what caused you to overeat in the first place, what you have done to try to lose weight in the past, that you are mentally strong enough to get through the op and that you don't see the op as a solution to all your troubles.
We all worried about it, but all had good expriences with them.
So you've waited for what seems like forever, dealt with all the people you have told about it, panicked unnecessarily over every little thing (should have followed the advice on the hitch hiker's guide) and thought you'd finally got it together, then you get your date. Suddenly it all seems to be moving too fast and you start to panic again.......
I'm not ready, what if I can't stick to the pre op diet, what if my liver doesn't shrink, what will I be able to eat after, what if, what if, what if...............
STOP IT!!
Deep breath and relax. It WILL be fine. Check out the post op threads and see how the rest of us are doing. I don't think anyone on this site has regretted having the op.......and we all wish we'd done it a long, long time ago.
The pre op diet IS horrible, I won't lie to you, but in most cases it is only for 2 weeks.....mine was 3. It is horrible for the first 3 or 4 days, but gets easier.......and it is only for a couple of weeks. You CAN do it. It needs to be done, partly to shrink your liver and partly to prove to the bariatric team you are commited. Stick with it.
Then comes the op. Many of us felt no real pain.....just discomfort. You'll wake up....wonder what all the fuss was about before it.....then marvel at the fact that you don't feel hungry.....at all. It is a great feeling.
Very soon after that the weight starts to fall off. Incredibly quickly you reach the first stone gone, then the second. Suddenly you actually love getting on the scales. I go on twice a day, even though you should wait a week. You will find parts of your body you haven't seen for years (hello my old friend
) you will feel ribs, hips, bones you forgot you had. You won't need to bend at weird angles to cut your own toenails.
People start to give you compliments......not in a sarcastic or ironic way.....genuine comments. Your trousers will start to fall off, your tops will be enormous on you. You will be thrilled you can fit in the next size down, then a few weeks later a huge grin will hit you when you realise those new trousers are hanging round your arse.
You have many, many WOW moments after the op. Catching my reflection still freaks me out sometimes, as I haven't got used to not being huge yet. I keep seeing people at work who haven't seen me since the op and I love the look on their faces. Complete amazement. They can't believe it. It is such a good feeling.
I'm sure I've missed out loads of stuff here, but you can find it all elsewhere on this excellent site.
I will say measure yourself and take pictures the day before you start the pre op diet. There will be times when you don't lose weight for a week or two, that really get you down, but it is just your body regrouping and settling.....measure yourself and you realise it's still going good. Also, keep a diary of weightloss.....I didn't and regret not doing it.
ALSO......write down any questions you have for your surgeon...........you will be nervous and forget to ask something important.
Also......get an NHS pre op card.....£104 and don't have to pay for prescriptions for a year. Pays for itself in a couple of months.
Also.......ask your GP about getting gym membership on the NHS.....I got 3 months free, some do half price.
But it takes at least 3 months to come through, mine took nearly 6, so ask before your op.
Anyway.......good luck......and see you on the other side.
